I sat down tonight, finally having a little direction of what I wanted to write my princess. I've probably said these in previous posts, but I write in her all the time, but they are pretty much just the same long love letters to you, my daughter. Whenever I tell myself just type anyway, my common sense takes over and I just go upstairs and kiss your cheek or hold your hand while you sleep. A small part of me convinces myself that it helps give you the security of knowing that your dad is always there- the bigger part of me knows it's just because I need to hold that little hand as long as I can.
I named this post time flies because when I logged on to this site it says it's been a full year since I've posted something to you. That blew my mind because it doesn't seem anywhere close to that long, but at the same time it didn't because of the significance.
Two weeks from today my little momma, or as we say in the morning- my heart, my angel, my princess, my EVERYTHING is going to be FIVE years old. I'm sure your reading this thinking "yeah", but to me it's so bittersweet. The last 60 months have been by far the greatest blessings that I could have ever received. The funny thing is, they mostly center around you- and by the time you read this, you'll have no recollection of any of the hundreds of memories that I flashback to every single day. Right now you can talk in full detail about when daddy picked you up and you got
"nursemaids elbow". You still ask to hear the story about when me and you lived with Grandma and Daddys back hurt- but you woke up in the middle of the night at 2 years old wanting to sleep in the bed with me, so Daddy put you on his back and crawled back to his room- thats your favorite. To this day, when we drive across town you ask me to drive up route 69 so you can see the horses you used to see when we went to dance class on Saturday mornings 2 years ago. I could go on forever momma about this dad and his princess over the last 4 years and 48 weeks, and I want to because while they are our memories, I know that without the tons of pics that I've posted on sites like Facebook, and the few we have here in the house- they die with me.
At the same time I feel rejuvenated at the thought that my girl is 5. Whenever I say that to myself I think "Tomorrow- tomorrow- I love ya tomorrow (your song) because if God is willing, I'll see the beautiful spirit I've been trusted to mold turn into something better than I was ever capable of being. In my world, I'm surrounded by parents who are trying to mold their children into carbon copies of themselves. You'll see as you grown that your dad isn't taking that route at all. At 5, you've already completed 2 full years of full day school. Your teacher told me yesterday that you've aced the test for admission to kindergarten and first grade already and your reading level is 5 paces above what they expected. You have 3 years of dance and a year of gymnastics under your belt. What that means Camryn Patton is that I swear to you that the world is yours. My job is to make sure that whatever you want to succeed at, you have a chance to do that- and your Daddy will not let you down.
It's not going to be easier from here. I know that. Over these first few years we've spent ALOT of time together, but never as much as the last 6 months. Every day I'm lucky enough to get you ready for school, bring you there, pick you up, hit the stores for snacks and clothes after school, then go to the gym or your dance class- TOGETHER! 26 straight weeks. For you it's being the princess you are, for your dad- it's HEAVEN! So know that as you grow, and continue to become the unbelievably special little lady you are, that you've done more for me, than I could ever do for you.
Someday, a long time from now, your going to be grown. We won't have hugged or held hands for months because you'll be busy making your way in the world- and I'll be busy paying for it :) but you'll hold my hand. And whether your 18, 22, 35, or 40 years old when that happens- you'll be 4 to me!
